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| my dad is in town x.x!! |
| 11.29.03 (3:51 am) [edit] |
Hey there folks. I *refuse* to post on my Thanksgiving, simply because every other person in creation is doing that and I am rather loathe to follow such a path. Wasn't even that intersting.
I have a 4 day weekend! ^__^ I'm happy. Shut up. Hehe, anyway. The only BAD thing is that my dad is in town till sunday (he leaves then, so I wont see him that day) For those of you who dont know the deal, My dad, Greg, moved out of Missouri (where I live) because of financal problems. He moved into his 'summer home' in Pine River Minnesota. (population 900) in July. So Yeah. its Novemeber, and I havn't seen him since July. I love my dad dearly, and think hes a very very intelligent man (hes an airline pilot O.o) but he annoys the fuck outta me!
Anyways. So my dad came down Weds. for thanksgiving. They stayed with Victoria's family, my dad's second wife. I was glad to see him for breakfast thursday, which lasted about an hour.. In that time, we said everything that needed to be said to catch up. An hour to cover 6 months. :roll: Yeah.. My relationship with my folks aint exactly stellar. Moving on. Then he tourtured me by making me spend the whole day with him. In largly awakward silence or one or the other babbling on about something the other couldnt relate to.. Not fun. So i've been dodging him all I can. Horriable, yes.. But why should I activly seek out to be with a man who I have nothing in common with, save half my DNA?
::sigh:: Hes a good man... Just very very different from me. Plus he obviously favors my older brother, Eric. On a 13 hour car ride up to Pine River one year, he spent 10 talking with my brother, two in easy silence, and one in *very* forced superical conversation with me. Plus he and eric are like two wrenchs in a set. Very very machainally inclined, macho, traditional etc etc etc.. Then here I am, a very strange gothy-punk sort of girl, with my own ideas, sense of self and all this other crap. I'm nothing like my mother, nor my father. And they dont know how to relate to me. Its easier just to give up trying, and relate to Eric entirely.
..Damn. And here I was trying NOT to get into my parental issues. ::sigh.:: ..The whole point of this blog was to bitch about my dad being in town and annoying me.. I think I've done that.. Am going now.. ^^ Take care!
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| Quizzes! Lots.. |
| 11.27.03 (2:40 am) [edit] |
You are Daria from Daria. You are full of sadness
and everything bad. You love to read, and you
are very smart. However, you are cool to
others. Even though you are so smart and quiet,
you seem cool to others. You get mad at others
quickly, but you only show it in your face. You
are very anti-social, but you do have a couple
of friends one or two. You are pretty
depressed. You have very little happiness in
you. You are very different from others. You
make the school seem much better because you
are not the exact same as the other girls. You
are not very religious, however. Actually, you
are not religious at all. Most likely, you are
going to die of cancer - sorry for that. Good
luck desperate person!
*****WHAT CARTOON ARE YOU??? - NEW AND IMPROVED - MANY DIFFERENT RESULTS*****
brought to you by Quizilla
If you die today, you are going to Hell...!!!
^_^ Beautiful Death ^_^
brought to you by Quizilla
You are AIM. You suck, and you always mess up. You
always get off track.
Which Messenger Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Tomboy
What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla
Fire Elf. You're slender, but very strong and of
average height for an elf. Your people rule
over the element fire and are excellent at
creating various things. You came from fire and
you live close to a volcano. You respect all
creatures of the fire and worship it.
*~*What Kind Of Elf Are You*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
You love animals and your envirotment. Your a
caring elf that truely wishes the best for all
living creatures!
*~What's Your Elf Personality? (with pictures, for girls)~*
brought to you by Quizilla
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| Nyo? o.o |
| 11.25.03 (11:18 pm) [edit] |
If you want intersting, Read my Latin Class Musings. *Those* Are deep thoughts et stuff...
This is just..well, largely crap. My day was horridly long, but not over all to evil.. I had to completely wing a presention in 5th hour, but Vogt grades so easy its amazing, so I probably did decently (Ex. of how easy he is: I had to do 20 defintions of homework. I did 10 and only got 2 points off) Anyway.. then I went to Latin and it is EVIL!!!
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| More Latin Class Musings |
| 11.25.03 (4:09 am) [edit] |
Ah.. My amazing skill at goofing off never ceases to amaze me. I should have been paying attention will all my amazingly limited ability.. But Nuuu. I was *thinking* again. Damnit, I hate it when my head gets caught in the sky.. Getting smacked with those planes really bloody hurts ;.;
Hehe anyway.. the though for today was, "Potential for Violence." This idea was brought about when I was leaving my Bio class (Which is freshman dominated) one of the Freshies accidently stepped on my heel. I could hear the fear in his voice when he said "Sorry!" I kinda shrugged and walked on, no skin off my heel. What was he afraid of, that I was going to turn around and jack him in the face? Then I realizd: He thinks that, because I am a goth-punk-ish type person, that my potential for violence is much higher.
So. That is todays babbleing. lets just say that every human being ever born, from the time we were jacking around in trees, to now, has had the capaitcy to do harm and pain to another of our species. Fair enough... But how does that relate? Well, like this.. As humans in this society grew and devolped, they had differnt environments. My own happened to be the 7th level of Hell, according to Dante. So I grew into a young woman, that while I am extremely loathe to do real harm to any living thing (minus spiders), I will and am very capable of it. However, the people that don't know me, seem to think that if they so much as look at me cross eyed, I'll pull an Uzi outta my ass and shoot them dead.
So, I do have the capicity to do harm to others, I have the will and ability to do it.. But it is my Potential for Violence is very very low. And that, my friends, is what makes me unlikely to hurt anything.
Its similar with other people: Its where they came from and what they believe that will detirmine their potential. very little else. If I wanted to go on a school shooting (Which I dont) I could do so with frightening ease. But I dont because I dont like hurting people. The Columvine asses though, where very differnt stories.
Case in point, they grew up in hells similar to my own: Largely ignored by family, save to be yelled at, cast out by society, largely friendless.. You get the picture.. Except, for whatever reason, they didnt learn compassion for other humans. They wanted to hurt.. kill... For whatever reason, they had a much higher potenial for violence.. and not only was it potential, they acted on it.. And to those effected, you have my heart felt sympathy.
So, next time you fear that punk kid with a mohawk and scary blank glare, stop for a moment and find out more about him(her).. Then and only then judge their potential for violence. And if it's low, be nice! ^_^ If its scarily high.. o.o; Tell someone. Please. After all, Columvine could have been avioded if someone had been nice to those boys... or maybe assessed them better and spoke up.
-Fin-
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| A day is a Day.. Nothing good to read. |
| 11.22.03 (9:54 pm) [edit] |
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Yeah.. Went to a friends birthday party yesterday. Was fun, I suppose. But while I was was there, I had alot of pizza, Kispey Kream Doughnuts, and an ass load of everything unhealthy. ..Y'all are gonna think I'm anorexic.. But I aint! Really. But now I feel rather fat.. blarg. Dont wanna eat but I will cause I know I'm too skinny ^_^;; So.. yeah. I'm not going to starve myself or anything... just feel rather fat...
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| Hurt brings about Introspection |
| 11.21.03 (12:18 am) [edit] |
:!: :!: Note :!: :!:
The entry that was here was removed because, after reading it I felt like an idiot. But, if you still want to read it, go to [ http://www.deadjournal.com/us... ] to read it. I just didnt want this blog to sound utterly stupid. So, I put in in my "black" blog. ^_^ I sound dumb there all the time. ..
Anyway. *done*
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| Latin Class Musings |
| 11.18.03 (11:37 pm) [edit] |
This is te shit I think about in Latin class, 6th Hour. Hm.. Maybe this will become a syndicated series of blogs?... Maybe. Or I could just babble on. Lol.
Anyways. I was sitting there in my 6th Hour, its the last period of the day and I'm always whipped. This is the sorta thing I think about as I make a point to ignore Abney, the teacher. I was thinking, if this great civilization of Rome can die out with out a struggle, why cant Western Civilzation? So, I decided this would be a good tangent and went off on it. So, our culture falls into ruins in the year 200o (Humor me here), while the rest of the world continues to evolve and grow. In the year 3100( Assuming we havn't blown ourselves to shit with nukes by then), its dug up again. We'd never been fully forgotten, just sorta passed out living memory and thus, all knowledge of our beliefs, culture, and most of the oddities of our language have been forgotten.
This 3100's probably would have preserved some of our culture and language, just by simple assimilation of ours into other cultures (Such as the Japanese... They'll still be around then. Those people are like big slitty-eyed cockroaches! ^_^ I love you Japs!) Westeren culture has done this with the Romans, but I won't go into that now. Just take my word for it, okay? Cool.
So this new world, completely differnt from our own, digs up the remains of our cities, our homes, schools, bodies, hell, even our money, cars, and computers! I got to thinking of what they would think of us.
They would think that, for a 'middle age' socitiey such as ours, we were pretty advanced, but amazingly naive of the way the world really works. According to the 3100'ers. They would think our ideas of marriage and love quaint and nice ideas but pointless. To them, we would have been quite crude, our entire culture was devoid of all 'proper' ideals.
This is all thinking of it from the way I'd imange Western European society to evolve and think. I could be entirely wrong, but I think that's how it'll go.. They'll see our current Western Civilization as quaint, oblivious to everything 'important'.
^_^ hehe. That was fun! I'll have to post more of my philosphical ideas! Well, Leave me a comment!
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| .: When life sucks, tell it to get its vampire teeth outta you! :. |
| 11.15.03 (1:27 am) [edit] |
No.. The title has no earthly relation to this post. I just thought of it and liked it ^_^ Here are some of my other fave sayings
[LINE]
When life gives you lemons, kick it in the balls.
When your down and out, get a coffee.
If your happy and you know, shut up.
[LINE]
Okay, That sucks now.. Moving on..
It seems as though I have been getting alot more male attention lately and its fucking creepy! Theres Bill (whos a whole story in and of himself) but I told him no, that I dont want to date him again.Another guy that I won't name, in case I'm wrong and he reads this o.o; But I have my suspicions.. Then this other got at lunch. His name is Dan, I think. Heres his story: Dan is a guy who used to live around here, but moved away. Now hes back and has been recently standing outside around my minigroup. I've seen him looking at me, but whats in a look? Everything from adoration, to the more bitter contempt, but I think I noticed...well, appercation is a good word. Then today, as the bell rang, Dan walked back me and touched my shoulder. I was like O.o The shit..?
But yeah.. its strange.. For years and years I was just the strange tall-ish blonde dork in classes.. Now, guys are actually starting to Notice me and, well.. yeah. No matter what Randi says, I am not good looking. My hair is fuzzy, I don't have any figure to speak of, I wear my own style of clothes (think, grunge, mixed with punk and goth) and just have an over all attitude problem. What do all these guys see in me?! ::honestly doesnt get it.::
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| .: Ug :. |
| 11.13.03 (3:06 am) [edit] |
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3 AM .. and here I am... sleepy, Fuck it. Im going to bed. I could stay up for 24 hours..But why when i can sleep? ^_^ Ja ne!! Im off to bed!
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| .: up for 24 hours :. |
| 11.12.03 (10:35 pm) [edit] |
I'm not enitely sure this has ever been done on tBlog before... But anyways.
Lately, my sleep scheule is so fucked up (fall asleep at 4 AM.. get up at 7 for school.. nap from 4 to 8/9.. sleep again at 4) And I'll be recording each ever increasing painful moment, here at tBlog. o.x [b]Heeeeelp mee!! [/b][image]shinimegami_69 7221670.jpg[/image]
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| .: Ain't life..well, normal :. |
| 11.10.03 (10:41 pm) [edit] |
Hey there , and a biiiiig smooch to my loyal posse fan group! ^_^...Wait...;.; I don't *have* A loyal posse fan group...::shrug.:: eh, thats cool with me. I'd hate to have people stalk me like that.. ::'[u]Every Breath You Take'[/u] by the Police plays.::
lol, anyways... Nothing that important going on here.. Just minor intersting things at school.. For one, Tom shaved his head. Why he did that is a bit beyond me.. But thats okay. His hair. And Now its all ... *shush* Fuzz-ah! Lol. *glomps Tom.* ^^
Hm.. Otherwise, nothing big. Theres this thing called Mix It Up which I'm gonna particapte in. I think its a really good idea, actually. For whatever your lunch shift is, you sit with a different group of people then you normally do. Its a was to really kick clicques in the ass and in general rattle some cages. Which is a good thing.
Ahh... Olivia troubles continue.. But, ya know. If thats the way she wants things to be, then fine. If she wants to pull away and throw away all of our friendship, thats fine. It just really pisses me off and hurts.
Least I got Randi! :;glomps the Rand-let:: Without her, and through her, my mini-network of friends, I'd be goddamn lonely.. So Thanks Onna ^_^ :D
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| .: Randis is fun! :. |
| 11.07.03 (5:00 pm) [edit] |
[LINE]
[image]shinimegami_293712 191.jpg[/image]
[LINE]
Hehe... Spent the night at Randis, with Shawn, Andy, Natalie.. and Olivia for a bout an hour before she left o.o;; Her confusing and rather hurtful problems have continued.. and escalated even. Damnit, I wish she'd just get over herself and talk! :evil: I'm a very hard person to hurt and this is getting to me..
Anyways... Outside Olivia, we had a blast. ^_^ There was much DDR-ing.. something about an RPG-maker that I dont remember.. and Dew. Much Dew. ^_^*happy* Am still at Randi's.. Uploading her Anime Music Vids to amv.org. After this I'll probably get for home. Maybe. ^_^\//
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| .:. Religion & stuff .:. |
| 11.06.03 (10:52 pm) [edit] |
[image]shinimegami_697927 527.jpg[/image]
Well aint this fun.. Nessie, a soulmate of mine and religous Christian zealot, is giving me a AIM-verbal working over of why I should go back to being Christian (i was raised Luthren.) To that, I reply. [i]Hell No![/i] I'm a Pagan, Witch, and thereby do not believe in Heaven nor hell. There *is* Summerhaven though. But anyway.. Shes worried for my soul.. yadda yadda yadda... The sentiment is sweet but I've told her before and I'll tell her again. I. Will. Not. Go. Back.
*sigh* In other news... Last night was horriable.. Untill midnight, I forgot I had a RESEARCH PAPER DUE!!! That next day!! I could have cried. I felt like it as I spent from midnight- three AM. *sob* And I still wasnt done! So I made up a really good lie ^_^ And she bought it, lock, stock and barrel. Damn I'm a good liar. Lol.
And otherwise, Olivia continues to insist on being a bitch and hurting Randi and me.
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| .: Mu :. |
| 11.05.03 (10:38 pm) [edit] |
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Oooh... Pretty Cliques ^_^ I feel all special now... Lol. This was a rather pointless post, wasn't it? hehe.
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| .: Dream a little Dream.. Or a bloody one :. |
| 11.05.03 (9:27 pm) [edit] |
This entry involves Dream-Blood... so if your sensitive to that stuff, don't read... Or maybe you should read.. **enjoys rattleing cages*
[LINE]
[LINE]
Anyways... yeah. I had this crazy ass dream during my nap (yes. Nap)
I Dreamt that i was doing a project with Randi, Jackie, and Andy, with of course me, on Jesus Christ. Somehow, i got assigned to do the report thingy on his blood.... Then Suddenly! I was covered in is blood, Christs blood, head to toe in the style of Carrie.
This dream freaked me the hell out. I was like *Eeeee!!* and Im a hard person to scare... *shudder* Sad thing is, that was the most exciting thing that happened to day. *die*
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| .: My Views on Religion :. |
| 11.05.03 (12:01 am) [edit] |
I'm sure no one cares, but I'm not writing for you, now am I? Lol, anyways.. Yeah. This entry will be all about my personal views on the one thing sure to get everyone riled in someway.... Religion.
I myself am a Pagan, of the Witch varity, and am damn proud of that. I was actually born and raised Lutheran. However, during 7th grade, I was like.. This sucks! And so I looked and found the wonderful ideas of Paganism.. duality, balance, actually being kind to other people and not just claiming it.. Plus powerful woman was soemthing Christianity never taught me. In Paganism, the man and woman are perfect equals. The God has the power, the Goddess gives it out accordingly.
But also, Christainty is a fine religion. I am *not* dissing it. I'm just saying that it isnt for me, so I left it and adopted the 5-pointed upright star of the Pentacle. I think that it was ont of the best discisions in my life thus far. Not only do I have power from Magick, but internal confidence and happiness.
I'll stop for now.. Leave a comment and tell me what ya think! ^_^ Thanks! Take care!
~Nikki
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| .: Newness:. |
| 11.04.03 (11:30 pm) [edit] |
Oooh... I likes this. :D
Very nifty, really... Tried to convince Randi to get one but..*sigh* no dice.
Okay.. Over view of my blog? Basically, I'll put whatever I'm thinking at the moment down. Good, bad, or down right psyco, you'll get it raw out of my mind. Good thing? I dunno, maybe.
I also tend to ramble incessently, but thats a good thing I suppose. Good for a laugh. Well.. I'm done for the moment. Ja ne!
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