A Sad Metamorphosis

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A Personal Relfection
12.31.03 (7:58 pm)   [edit]
Ah.. New Years Eve.. Time to Fair-well 2003 into the hazy human memory and the mist of times forgotten. So, as I have always liked to do, I'll go through all the months of the past year, recounting anything I thought important enough to carry with me thus far.

[b]January[/b]- Nothing highly memorable.
[b]Febuary[/b]- Got my Drivers Permit, aged 15 (and a half). The first steps towards liscense!
[b]March[/b] - Nothing extremely good.
[b]April[/b]- Went to Prom (Yes, I was 15 and a Freshman) and it was fun! Also, started going out with Bill.
[b]May[/b]- End of my Fresh-meat, er, Freshman year of High School. I had survived, and even made new friends, and kept all the ones worth keeping from Middle School (love you guys! ^_^). Was very glad. My brother grauated from HS, and Bill went South to refind his home. This also ended our short, and rather lack-luster relationship. Man.. May was important..
[b]June[/b]- I took off to Minnesota for a week or so with Randi.. I think she was often bored, but it was much better then it normally was. Thanks Onny! ^_^ Saved me from many dull Minnsotian nights (And getting carried off by the bugs.)
[b]July[/b]- A quiet month (minus the 4th, course)and alot of sitting around. I turned 16 on the 30th. Wooo! Still no liscense though -.-;;
[b]August[/b]- Bill returned from his wanderings. He hadn't found his home, and I think he's still searching. We didn't get back together. School started.. I was/am a Sophmore. Its not so bad.. except Freshman annoyed me.
[b]September[/b] - A bad bad month.. Within 2 weeks, my cat ran away (never to be seen again) and my pet fish died, thoroughly eliminating all my pets (minus the dog, who aint mine). At this point, I was devistated.. I loved my fish and cat.. I still think for some odd reason the Gods were punishing me.. But as current, the new fish I got is doing very well, and I'm getting birds soon.. So. heres hoping.
[b]October[/b] - I think this was another fairly uneventful month, except for the Halloween party. That was fun ^^ I was a convict!
[b]November[/b] - Ah.. Another turbulant month, but not for me! For poor Randi and Andy. This was about the time they started to go out (Happy for you two, really I am) and then EVERYONE in the free world decided it was their personal buisness to see that these two never had a happy moment.
[b]December[/b] - Largely quiet again... Randi/Andy troubles persist but I'm glad they're still together. Still no liscense and no boyfriend, but thats okay. Got the rest of my damn life for men. ^_^\//

Well Thats it... A year in review. Those're events in my personal life, I'm sure we all remember well enough what went on in the world so.. Yeah.. Ja. Happy
 
Oh Fuck...
12.26.03 (7:06 pm)   [edit]
I think that I've fucked things up with Olivia.. .< ! Like, royally. ::smashes head on many hard things.:: fuck fuck fuck... Well I didnt want to lie to her! Olivia has been my friend for ..god knows how many years at this point and I love her deeply, like I do all my friends. And I respect her enough to give her a straight answer. But.. I think its put me straight into hell.. Heres in IM convo. >
For ease of mind, I'm CtarlCtarl Reita and Olivia is LewZeR256.

LewZeR256 [6:43 PM]: ishy...something bothered me about 7th grade but then i decided to ignore it, but then it bothered me again, it has to do with you, should i tell you?
LewZeR256 [6:43 PM]: or should i ignore it again?
CtarlCtarl Reita [6:44 PM]: Ish, if it bugs you and you wanna get it off your chest, go ahead and tell me.
LewZeR256 [6:44 PM]: it's also about randi
CtarlCtarl Reita [6:44 PM]: Ok...
LewZeR256 [6:46 PM]: like in 7th grade when i introduced you guys you two started hanging out with each other more than me, even when i'd call either of you, you guys would be busy together and i felt like randi stole you away from me, you and i knew each other for 5 years at that point and then someone who knew you for 5 weeks stole you
LewZeR256 [6:47 PM]: and like, you guys would wake up earlier than usual to hang out with each other and you never did that with me before you met her, i'd try to do stuff with you and it was so hard to get you out of your house to chill with me and then randi does it so easily
CtarlCtarl Reita [6:47 PM]: Ish, she didn't steal me, though I can see how it might come across like that. But Ishy, no. She didnt steal me, far from ^^ Just made our group bigger. but I am sorry that I made you feel like that..
LewZeR256 [6:48 PM]: and then me and andy were bestest of friends before they got together and then he started ignoring me and shit...am i wrong for feeling kinda bitter towards randi?
LewZeR256 [6:49 PM]: but she didn't make the group bigger at the time, she left me at home while you two hung out together like i always wanted to hang out with you
CtarlCtarl Reita [6:51 PM]: Actually, yeah.. I think you are kinda out of line there. I can easily see how you'd feel bitter, though. Like she stole him from under you, right? I think that it'd feel alot better for everyone if you two made peace, both with each other and yourselves.
LewZeR256 [6:51 PM]: i would like call your house and no one would pick up and then i'd call her house and someone would say she was at your house. and when i called her house no one picked up and then i'd call your house and they'd say you were at her house
LewZeR256 [6:52 PM]: i'm not only mad about andy, i'm mad about both of you, i felt like you guys would ignore me, cuz you both had caller id so i thought you didn't want to hang out
LewZeR256 [6:53 PM]: i never expressed myself back than but when you two would hang out with each other and never ever invite me, it made me feel like shit, like i was no longer good enough to hang out with either of you because you both met someone better
CtarlCtarl Reita [6:54 PM]: I didn't know.. I'm sorry Olivia.
LewZeR256 [6:54 PM]: i remember trying so hard to do something with either of you but you guys where never available to talk because you were with each other
LewZeR256 [6:55 PM]: just tell me something....
CtarlCtarl Reita [6:55 PM]: yeah?
LewZeR256 [6:56 PM]: did you ever see i was calling and then decide just not to pick up...either of you? like tjose times whn i'd call and you were at her house or vice versa?
CtarlCtarl Reita [6:57 PM]: Yeah, there were times, When I was alone at my house, when I just didnt feel like talking to anyone, not just you Ishy. And to the best of my knowledge, it only ever happened once with Randi, and thats cause we were watching a movie or something.
CtarlCtarl Reita [6:57 PM]: And I dont know what happened with the strange things there. ::shrug.:: Really, I don;t.
LewZeR256 [6:58 PM]: thanx...that's all i needed to know...i was right after all, huh?
[ Olivia Signed off before this last IM was sent ]
CtarlCtarl Reita [6:58 PM]: Just once when we were together. And when I was alone, its just cause I didnt want to talk to anyone, including family, dog, or friends.

Seriously. I didnt want to hurt her, I just wanted to give her a straight anwer, however wrong it was. She desevred a straight answer, I think.... God fucking damnit, I'm stupid...
 
Quzzies to waste your time.
12.23.03 (4:41 am)   [edit]

You are Sissi Schmidtt from The Princess
and The Warrior
. When your life is so
quiet and maybe even lonely, what else do you
have but your dreams? Don't be afraid to pursue
something big. While it might be a great
challenge, persistance is everything. Giving up
will only keep you standing right where you
are, dreaming of better things.


What Unconventional Movie Heroine Are You?
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HASH(0x843b56c)
What Sort of Romantic Are You?

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L7's Shitlist is your power song.
I'm scared of you only because your own shitlist is
probably pretty damned easy to get on. Just
stay away from my car and my face and we'll be
okay.


What's Your Power Song? (Female Vocalists)
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Sit! Good girl... Don't let yourself be a doormat
outside of your fun little games between the
sheets, though. It could bruise your psyche a
little more than your bum.


What's Your Bedroom Personality? (For Her)
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Breezy Beauty - You're a breath of low-mainentance
air, aren't you?


What Kind of Beauty Are You?
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Road Rage
What Type of Fighter Are You?

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Hm.
12.21.03 (5:15 pm)   [edit]
Okay.. My last blog was pathetic and just all around sad. I *hate* sounding like a whiny Suburbaian brat that wails and bitches everytime the least little thing doesnt happen *exactly* right. .. yeah, I dispise sounding like that. So, heres a blog when I'm not bitching or feeling sorry for myself ^_^ I actually had a very unproductive day and I like it like that. Slept till 2 or so, watched TV til 5. Came on here for awhile.. Now I fully intend on playing some video games or wragling an early christmas gift outta my mom ::Evil cackle.::

Speaking of which, Merry Christmas/Happy Jewish Celebration (Cant spell that, so I wont offend you folks ^^)/Happy Yule to we Pagans, Happy Kawanza, and anything else I missed. ^_^ I hate the cold, but like the time of year.
 
More bitching and whining.
12.20.03 (6:46 pm)   [edit]
I been doing alot of this lately.. Man. I'm one sad motherfucker, hm? lol. yeah.. Tell me if I'm wrong, but doesnt this strike anyone else as horridly ironic: I am 16 years old, its 6 PM on the first saterday of Winter break and save for my dog, I am totally alone x.x I see irony. Do you? I dont begrudge any of my friends this a bit. Nat-Rat, Randi, Olva and I spent time together last night at the Bowling Ally then I spent the night with Randi. ^^ Was fun. But now, she and Natalie are over at Shawn and Andy's meeting the grandfolks. Meet the girlfriends night, apparently ^.~ Hehe. Bill just isn't a fesabile option, as neither of us have lisecenses. Olva and I could never decide on anything, even if I did call her and she wasnt sick. My friend Tom is porbably out with his girlfriend, and I'm glad for him. ^^ Hes such a nice fella. I dont know his phone anyway ^_^;;

So yeah. I'm lonely -.-; Thats what they invented instant messanger! ..yes.. I am that sad. My pseudo life is on the internet.. x.x Right well.. I'll stop taking up your time.. Later.
 
Quizzes et junk!
12.17.03 (9:05 pm)   [edit]
Today the first day of finals. They were long, annoying, but I DID them!! ^_^ ::proud.:: I took Art and math finals.. On the Art one I actually tried! And kicked total ass (I hope :? ) then came Math and I was like ::growl:: fuck that! She was asking us things we'd NEVER learned. ..bitch teacher! So I just started making the best guesses.. *sweatdrop* I hope I did well on that final.. Ah well. Tomarrow, two I KNOW I'll ace: Sophmore Language and Bio. ^_^ And now, a word from fun fun quizzes.

Rohirrim
Rohirrim


To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
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ghost
You are a ghost. You sift incessantly throughout
dreams and in vain intervene. You seem
imprisoned in dream portals and seek to wait
and waste time being the


~~~~~~~What Dream Entity are you?~~~~~~~
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You're Desdemona of 'Othello' fame. You're
experimental, accepting and love new
experiences. You don't care what other people
think of you and you'll marry who you please,
even if that means enduring the scorn the
others.


What Shakespearean Character Are You? (female)
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a href="http://quizilla.com/users/MorbidMaiden/qu izzes/*%20Are%20You%20a%2 0Slacker%20%3F%20(with%20 pics%20%2C%20please%20rat e%20me%20a%205)%20*/"littleslacker
* Are You a Slacker ? (with pics , please rate me a 5) *
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All I can say is Rock The Fuck On! Your a true
rocker. You know what good music is. and you
have great taste in music. Good for you.


are youa rocker /poser/ hip-hoper
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Taaaxi!!
12.15.03 (10:43 pm)   [edit]
::groan.:: It was one of those days! I think they haunt me as of late. ::glance around.::

It started early in the morning.. I actually got up [i]on fucking time!! [/i] Hell yeah! It seems to be a feat for me in this day and age. x.x But anyway.. I got up to my bus stop about the right time.. No bus. For 15 minutes, no bus. At that point, I said "Fuck it!" because it was bloody cold and went home. There was no one around to give me a lift: Eric was at school, Mom at work.. and the street was empty. I had half an hour, there about, so walking 5 miles to school was far far out of the question.. So.. I called a cab.

What an experiance. That was my first time in a cab, ya know. All at once, it was cool, degrading, and absolutly frusterating. It smelled funny in there too, like too much vanilla car spray. But this driver guy, he coulda played Abu! I swear this man was fresh outta the middle east. hehe. Anyway, he didnt know how to drive either. Was scary.

This whole Cab ride thing cost me 11 bucks to go 5 miles. I was like x.x!! Fuck!! But I had a 20 so I was okay. And the bitch of this whole fiasco was: I was still late to school!! :x

Then school was just a collective bitch. It got to the point I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and just scream "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" But I couldn't do that.. So. Just.. one of those evil evil days.

::Is done bitching now::
 
Christmas = Pain
12.12.03 (7:12 pm)   [edit]
Ahh.. Oh fucking joy. I get to sound like a fucking Scrouge, but thats okay. At the moment, I rather feel like one. Oh, and if ya cant tell. This is gonna be one of those posts where I just bitch and whine and moan. I mean fuck, I don't want to subject my friends to that (They got enough shit to deal with) and I cant very well tell my mom I think shes a bitch in the extreme. I *could* tell Linda, but she'd talk to much sense.. So. I get to bitch at my blog. And you ^_^ So suck it up and listen, or fuck off and click the lovely X in the corner.

Yeah.. Bit of backround for my non-always readers: I'm Pagan.. My family ain't. They do Christmas, i get dragged along. And just for clearification: I honestly don't mind the holiday differance. Really. Its the spirit of the time of year that important, not the reiligious beliefs. But yeah.. I've bitched a few times about my family.. and this is another one of those. My mom is a total anal bitch about putting up the christmas tree (Which happens to be tonight) and I hate it more then ever.

I know alot of people are reading this and wondering just what the fuck I'm complaining about, at least I *got* a family and all that shit. Well guess what, fuck you. I feel bad for y'all and all that, and while I do love my mother, I hate the way she acts.

And tonight is far from an exception. She's yelled at me 3 times already and trim-a-tree hasnt even begun yet. x.x Once when I tried to take my habitual nap, again when did something else, dont even remember now, then finally when I was helping her and my brother to haul a big ass potted plant thingy down into the basement. I slipped, the rope came outta my hands and made mom actually take some of the load. ::scarcasm:: oh no.. not that. [i]anything[/i] but that. ..gr..

So already this is an annoying night, and I want to escape worse then you can believe, but I cant or suffer well over a month of my mothers passive aggressive barbs. "Mom whats the date?" I would say. She'd respond, "Lets see.. You skipped out on the putting up the christmas tree on Dember 12.. Hm.. That'd make it.. January 29." You get the idea.

As to what'll transpire tonight.. A waaaaay to huge over-dose of sappy old christmas music, ranging from some douchy opera songs, to Chipmunks, waaay to much forced cheer.. and oh yeah.. put me down at every possible moment. "That light strand isnt in the right plce, idiot!" 'Move that Ornament Higher, ditz." ..You get my drift.

Ug.. This is always such a fucking crappy night. But whining doesnt help except make me think that it is actually okay to whine ( And I dont think it is, for me to whine anyway. My friends I doint mind at all,.. other people piss me off with it) So. I'll stop bitching now.. Ja.
 
Like a Photograph
12.11.03 (9:34 pm)   [edit]
Just a note to all my faithless ..er, I mean faith[i]ful[/i] readers, this might turn out to be a long-ish one.

Yeah.. My two beat-est friends in this whole wide god damned world are fighting again. Randi et Olivia.. Olivia et Randi. These two seem to be so bitter at the other, for various reasons that I can understand, but won't go into here as that'd be invading their privacy. Anyway, so about two weeks ago, you'll remember the big stink Oliva was making over... damn, something. I STILL don't know what ( :? )but yeah.. that all blew past and things have been fairly quiet. Until yesterday. They had an enormous fight, and while it didnt become physical, I was expecting it too.

What was the big stink was over? Well.. I'm sure myself. Long story short, they were both so bitter at the other for one reason or another that it just built and built.. et on. And yersterday, it blew up again.. They had this massive fight on AIM. I'm sure both sobbed. And it was healthy for both of them. They just needed to get everything off their chests and speak plainly.

Anyway... thats the backround of this. This is my blog, not Olva's or Randi's. These two's fighting.. its hard on me. I love both these two more then I love myself (Which isn't hard, by we're not going there this blog entry) and to see them fight so bitterly is just.. painful. But nessiecary so I let them and try to remove myself from the situation. This isn't my fight.

Randi's afraid this fighting with Olva all the time will break the group up, but I'd like to think my friends have better staying power then that... Yeah.. I was going to make some big cool philisophical point about how this O/R fight is like a picure.. But eh, I know what I mean, but you wouldn't get it. ::nod.:: So.. I'm not out of subjects to write on.. Just dont feel like typing thing anymore.
 
Stuff in a Handbasket
12.09.03 (1:06 am)   [edit]
Ah.. The ever popular "This is What Happened Today" blog that is over done ad nasuem. But I've been wanting to post something.. and no intersting thoughts have presented themselves for another Latin Class Musing, so.. We're stuck with this. Anyway..

Today was actually intersting, in certin aspects. Like in first hour today, I started to paint with watercolors and discovered how absolutly horridly easy it was to shade with them! And it looks nice :lol: So I'm set in art for awhile. THe only challange will be finishing the project on time.. *cringe* Will hurry and pray to the Muse of Creativity..

Also in the "Art" subject today, I've found a fun picture I'm going to colorize in Paint Shop Pro 7 (Pirated software est fun!) =http://www.livejournal.com/us... target=_blank [image]shinimegami_469703 828.jpg[/image] If you Click-ah the picture, it will take you to the Neon Dragon's live journal (The artist of the the 'Dragon Shadows' link to the left.) She is a *fablous* artist and the best I can do is steal her uncolored pictures and put them into color as I see fit ^_^ If y'all want, I could put up the first picture of the Neon Dragon's that I've colored. Its cool and pretty.. hehe. Anyway..

Lets see.. what else? Ooh! Mom said I can get the finches from my Science class ::happy-ness in a jar.:: So now, I'll have a cold scaley bitchy fish that wants to EAT me.. seriously.. and birdies. And the dog, but hes not mine so he dont count. ;.; I want something warm and fuzz-ah. But for now, I'll make due with un-cuddle-able animals.

Heres a quiz for all of ya quiz-takers
you are purple
#800080

Your dominant hues are red and blue. You're confident and like showing people new ideas. You play well with others and can be very influential if you want to be.

Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right.

Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.
the spacefem.com html color quiz


Okay.. Thats enough shit for this blog ^_^\// Take care everyone!
 
Everyone needs a themesong! [Lyric intensive]
12.06.03 (3:35 am)   [edit]
And they do! Some song that sums up them in some way or another. I happen to have two in mind. (Not counting the Evanesence 'Fallen' Album x.x Any of those songs could be mine)

One by The Ataris, [b]"Radio #2"[/b]
[LINE]
meet me at midnight
at the broadcast tower
high above the hollywood sign
you bring your guitar and i'll bring my radio... radio
everyone will come from miles around
to witness this beautiful sight
we'll set bonfires, pretend it's the fourth of july
[ Chorus ]
this is the starting of a brand new revolution
bite the hand that feeds
stand up and fight against the messages that they're sending
stop their frequency

you're always talking
it's neverending
it's about time that we turned off the radio
call the request lines and tell them that it's over[End Chorus]

you're always playing
all of the same songs
over and over again
it's about time that we all turned off the radio

we'll listen to b-sides
and sing along
to anthems of the years gone by
integrity and honesty will prevail tonight

when it's all over
when it's all over
one question still remains
why so so many bands never make it to the radio?

[ Chorus. ]

you're always playing
all of the same songs
over and over again
it's about time that we all turned off the radio

look outside your FM dial
they're preaching lies
in 4/4 time

our generation without a voice
is stripped of pride

you're always talking
it's neverending
it's about time that we turned off the radio
call the request lines and tell them that it's over

you're always playing
all of the same songs
over and over again
it's about time that we all turned off the radio

you're always talking
it's about time that we all turned off the radio

you're always playing
all of the same songs
it's about time that we all turned off the radio
[LINE]

And one by Powerman 5000, [b]'Theme to a Fake Revolution"[/b]
[LINE]
i'm not a spaceman but on the other hand
i never really did fit in this world
hands up to misfits, the ones that don't fit
i know that you know that you know who you are

this is a theme to a fake revolution
a battle won and lost with confusion
this is a theme to a fake revolution
make no mistake there is no solution

we are the kings of misery
born and raised with no ability
'good luck suckers' is the battle cry
finally a purpose a reason to die

this is a theme to a fake revolution
a battle won and lost with confusion
this is a theme to a fake revolution
make no mistake there is no solution

finally a message, a meaning, a thought
to help you remember all you forgot
to wash that illusion out from your head
and rebuild the nonsense that you were fed
[LINE]

Those of you that know me see how these fit. To those that don't... Eh, take my word for it: They do. Well.. That was fun. Leave me a comment? ::puppy eyes::
 
Fun Stuff
12.05.03 (1:41 am)   [edit]
That Musing (#3) was fun to write ^_^ And I got some postive remarks. I'm glad it was as intersting as I had hoped. yay!

But now, Its time to move on with my dull dull life.. But this one is fun!
[image]shinimegami_138626 8569.jpg[/image] [i]Nikki the Dew Slayer[/i]

hehe.. That photo amuses me endlessly. Yes, that fuzzy blonde is me :roll: As this is a fairly odd photo, I'll give ya the back story.. That Dagger there is rather sharp and I was fucking around with it, when I accidently stabbed a can of mostly empty dew. I thought it was hilarious and took this photo... I look like I'm killing it. ^_^ Goddamn Dews! They MUST be killed!! Enter.. Nikki, the Dew Slayer! Lol.. Sorry.. Hyper.. and I'm stange anyway.

In other new fun stuff.. I've now got the Weather in hell. ^_^ View it. love it. Laugh at it. Then prepare for it. Hehe. Take care everyone!

 
Latin Class Musings (#3)
12.03.03 (1:04 am)   [edit]
[i]Today's Topic[/i]: [u]Love and some of its Ironies[/u]

Yes.. Fairly early in my LCM carrer, I'm going to tackle that ever annoying and recurring idea: Love.

First, a minor history of the pounding heart. Its actually an invention of the last 200 years or so. The Greeks, Romans, and Medieval Europeans knew of the concept, although few were un/luckey enough to experiance it. Ya gotta remember that back in those respective eras, marriage was nearly exclusivly literal buisness arrangements and of course baby-making. (EX- In Rome, to get deviored, you would simply give the woman back her dowery. ) As time marched on into the Dark/Medieval ages, marriage for love was a much more common and beloved idea(think Shakespere), yet no more common in practice. Only in the 1700's or so and up did it begin to come into practice more and more, untill today in Western Civilizations, that we marry for nothing BUT love. Unless your Anna Nicole Smith... :D

Okay, so now we understand about where this idea of love became as popular and as important as it has become. That all well and good, but how does it relate in today's society? As I see it, it is a great uniter: All human beings want to love and want to be loved reguardless of what you say. It is also a great divider: Racism, Religious barriers (Jews/Christans cant get married without one or both sacrificing beliefs/customs) and all the rest.

Love is also a very lofty and common ideal (among Americans/UK.. Cant speak for rest of the world.. o.o) Whys this? Again, its what everyone wants and/or has. Yet, when they have it, they don't appercaite it and the moment its gone, people think they're gonna die (Its like the 'sex is like air' joke)

All that above stuff is mostly in the adult world... It means something differnt in each stage of life. In young childhood, it is the most perfectly pure thing I've ever encountered. As they grow into preteens, its harmones and Playboy, and toilet humor stuff. Love to teenagers is, in a way, more complex then that of adults. For example, we have the 'It' Factor. (Well, those that care anyway. I don't happen to). this factor is the popular meter. People who are in the It are the social leaders, normally very affluent (L.A. I'm thinkin' of you here) They detrimine the Goobers of the school, the Undateables and those who just dont give a shit. For your sake, I hope you fall in the last catagory.

But Love in High school is.. well.. rarly that. Its normally lust, though I have been witness to a few very beautiful loves in my school. And I'm glad. However, as I said. Its normally lust. Like did you ever notice that Goth-Punk type guys date slut-type girls, the ones that dress to leave NOTHING to the imangation? Easy access. Where as there are perfectly fine, STD-free, Goth-Punk girls who are straight..nice..pretty.. the whole bit. But they dont get dates for the simple reason that they refuse to be compelte skanks. I happen to be one of about 10 or so girls I know in that area.

But thats not love; Its lust. Lust does not equally love, but love does equal lust, normally. But anyway.

In conclusion, love is a connection on a personal level between two people of either gender. It is beautiful, true, and horridly confusing. It complicates our lives endlessly, breaking hearts, and driving a few insane. But we wouldn't have it any other way because the moment we fall in love again, all the pain seems pointless, the past. Love is a grand, grand thing. ^_^ And we wouldn't want it any other way.

~Fin~
 
An annoying day.
12.01.03 (8:54 pm)   [edit]
.. It started when I was woken up quite rudely by Eric, my brother, at 12-fucking-30!! I had to be up for school at 7:10 ish. ::cry:: But I STILL had to get up and go to my last two classes WHICH SUCKED. Suffice to say, I want to throttle my teachers as soon as look at them. x.x

Then, I realized that my way way previous post bout the three dudes I thought liked me was completely shit wrong. The guy I didn't name (Still glad I did that) now has a girlfriend, and it aint me. Dan, the lunch dude, is no where to be seen. And Bill..well, i dunno out him. ::shrug.::

But thats fine. I dont need a guy to be complete. I'm not a whiney co-dependant sort, I'm just fine on my own two feet. Now mind you, I aint saying that I'm anti-love or anything. Its well and good, and it would be nice to have that, but I'm not going to make an ass of myself for it. Nor will I comprismise who I am. ::nod.:: Well... Later all.. Comment if ya see fit ^^