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| Thoughts on Life: Can't Save Everyone |
| 06.29.04 (11:59 pm) [edit] |
Hello all, this will become the replacement for Latin Class Musings, as I can't very well think during a class I no longer have. Anyway! Onto my thoughts.
Today has not been a wonderful day for me. (at the risk of offending male readers) I started my period for the first time in over a year... So that was a very heavy downer, not to mention jacked with my emotions some. Then when I got online, my friend started to completely bitch me out for disappearing earlier... And this led into a long whiney pity-party for her. And then, later, another friend unloaded all of her problems on to me as well, and would get angry when I tried to give her advise.
Long storys short, these two people have taught me that I cannot save everyone, no matter how much I want to. Because these people can only save themselves. And it sucks! Because I want to help them, I want to save them from that emotional blackness that envelops them. I have been where they are and I found my own way back, and yes it was hard. But they won't listen to me. And I can only help those that will be helped. ::sigh. Helpless shrug.:: I can only wish them the best, and hope that they'll come out of their own personal hells better then when they dove back in.
Yeah, I've taken many a swan dive into hell. For all the blackness, it was rather toasty and strangely enjoyable. But everytime I've found a way out and emerged only scared, but nothing more. ^_^
I don't know why I have this annoying urge to advise people on their problems. Maybe because I've been there and I hate for them to return to my hell. But at any rate, yes... They have taught me that I cannot save everyone, no matter how hard I try. And I will have to be happy with the ones that will allow me to aid them. ::nod.::
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| Stolen fresh from Randi's blog! |
| 06.25.04 (8:58 pm) [edit] |
1. First Name: Nicole
2.Middle Name: Katherine
3.Last Name:I would but yeah, you don't care ^_^
4. NickNames: Onna-chan, Fuzzy, blonde, Shinimegami
5.City: St Louis, Missouri
6.Guy or Gal: Gal.
7.Siblings: Unfortunately.
8.Pet(s): Balto, my doggie!
9.Hair Colour: Blonde!
10.What hand do you write with: Right
11.Hair Length: Bottom of shoulder blade ... want to grow it longer though
12.Do you bite your nails: Nu.
13.Do you stare: When I'm tired.
14.Do others think you're cute?: Probably not.
RELATIONSHIPS
15.Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Nu.
16.Are you gay?: Nuu
17. Who do you idolize the most in the world?: Joan of Arc.
18. Who do you have a crush on?: No one at the moment
FASHION STUFF
(egads....)
19.Where do you shop the most?: At stores?
20.Do you think your fashion is cool?: No, I just wear whatever I like.
21.Do you have any piercings?: Ears, right ear catileage, and belly button
22.What do you want pierced?: Maybe some more on my ears.
23.Do you have a tattoo?: No, but I might one day. Dunno.
THE EXTRA STUFF
24.Do you do drugs?: Nope.
25.Do you drink?: Not yet.
26.What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use?: Garene Fruitis
27.What sports do you play?: Do you play track?
28.What are you most scared of?: Spiders and Bill.. And thats pretty much it.
29.If you could go anywhere, where would it be?: Carribean... water pretty! Or Japan. Thats cool too.
30.What are you listening to right now? My dog snoring! x.x!
31.What shoes do you wear?: Tennis shoes.. Slid on's now or again.
32.What clothes do you sleep in?: Big T-shirt and comfy pants. ^_^
33.What kind of car do you have?: 1991 Cutlass Ciera.
FAVORITE
34.Number: 3, 9, 13.
35.Song(s): I've got a bunch of favorite songs.
36.Movie: Er.. Jesus Christ Superstar (No I'm NOT Christian, just a kick ass rock opera. Go watch it!)
37.Clothing: Jeans... T-shirts... whatever. Scarily enough, I actually own two skirts! ::gasp::
38.TV Show: InuYasha, Trigun, Buffy (shut up...) Teen Titians..
39.Food: Pizza! Yummy gooey warm hot pizza..
40.Nail Polish Colour: Purple, blu, maybe a red if its cool.
41.Drink: Mountain Dew LiveWire.
42.Scent: Mm.. Depends.
43.Season: Summer!
HAVE YOU EVER
44.Caused a car accident: Nu.. Never been involved in one either. So this is good! But my brother has been in two already, one that totalled the car.
45.Seen the ocean: yeah! It was kick ass.
THIS OR THAT
46.Night or Day: Night
47.Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla.
48.Lion or Tiger: Lion
49.Love or Lust: Love
50.Gold or Silver: Silver
51.Rose or Tulip: Rose
52.What do you feel about the Ouija board?: Largely crap.
COFFEE = Eww.
YELLOW = Eww.
PILLOW = Yay!
BRITNEY = Plastic.
J.LO = Poser.
PINK = Not in hell.
JOSH HARTNETT = actor
TOM WELLING = who?
POPCORN = Nummy
SUMMER = Perfect.
WINTER = Nasty cold vile thing
SPRING = Flowers.
AUTUMN = Halloween!
RAYMOND = Why is this here?
UTT = U.T.T? is that a band?
PARTY = Funness!
S.H.E = he?
MEMORIES = past and generally painful
SUSHI = fish
NEO-PRINTS = The Matrix has him!!
SORRY = what I say a lot
ENEMY = the Powers of Darkness!! ..Wait, I AM the darkness!
DOG = Balto ^_^
COUNTRY = pretty rolling hills
LOVE = hard to find.
PAIN = memories
LIARS = common
SEAN PAUL = Singer?
WWF = A horridly fake hoax that everyone seems to believe.
JEALOUSY = Don't have it, either for others or from others.
BED = GOOOOOOD
CLUBBING = A soon-to-be addiction.
DARK ANGEL = Something that'd be cool to be.
LOTR = Good triliogy.
THANKSGIVING = A complete farce.
ALOHA = Hi!
1. What is your name? Nicole
2. Marilyn Manson or Destiny's Child? Destiny's Child.
3. When was the last time you showered? Yesterday
4. What song are you listening to right now? "Dog Snoring" by Balto.
5. What was the last thing that you said? No ones gonna get that... (about previous item)
6. What is next to you right now? ..Said snoring dog. And some computer shit.
7. What is your computer desk made of? Antique Cherry Wood! (its my great grandmas writing desk)
8. What are the last 4 digits of your phone number? 6597
9. What was the last thing that you ate? er.. havn't eatten today.
10. If u were a crayon wat colour would u be? Black ^_^
11. Where would you go on your honeymoon? Honestly I don't think I'll get married so this is a null-and-void question.
12. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? If I got married and had to spend the rest of my life with him, it think I'd cry. Its really hard for me to be in the same company all the time.
13. Do you have a lava lamp? Yes! It is purple.Though technically its my brothers.
14. How many buddies on your list? 21 Total.
15. How is the weather right now? Kinda chilly for June.
16. What were the last clothes/shoes you bought? ...Shit I don't remember.
17. What did you do yesterday? Got up at 3-ish.. Went with Tom and David to Six Flags. That was fun ^^
18. Last person that you talked to on the phone? Some stupid telemarketer machine.
19. What are things that an ugly boy/girl would have to do to force you to go out with them? x.x It seems thats all of who does want to go out with me! Lol, the company you keep is what you are...
21. Fave actor/actress? Nobody really.
23. How are you today? fine, thanks for asking. ^^
24. Fave m&m? They all kinda taste the same.
25. Who makes you happy? Being with my friends, good books, drawing comics or doing chalk pastel drawings.
26. Fav Cd? Evanescance right now.
28. Nicknames? We did think already..
30. Do you wear contacts? Yup.
32. Who do you consider to be your close friends? Randi, Andy and Tom.
33. What do you like to do? Sleep right now... read, play a good computer game, watch a movie, horseback ride... ooh, swimming...
34. Dream guy? Hm.. Appearance wise, any color hair (So long as its not red-orange!) Perferred to be toned or built, Up to Vin Diesel, but thats about as muscley as I like 'em.. Any more and it gets into the ew factor. Personaility, I want him to be funny, kind, and a nice guy though I dont want him to be into PDAs.. That's just embarrsing. Otherwise, I want him to be intelligent, like reading, and simply not be a dick.
35. have u met ure dream guy look alike? ..what?
36. Dream car? 1969 black Trans AM with a gold bird on the hood.
37. Have you ever won any special awards? Er, in track? no, just race medals and not for school either ^_^;;
38. Whats your dream job? Working with cougars and making money!
39. What are your future goals? ..Er, what goals?
40. Fave music? Mostly everything, except Rap. cRAP.
41. Fave food? Chocolate, strawberries, pizza, yummy things such as.
42. Fave movies? *shrug*
43. Fave day? saturday.
44. Fave month? June-Early september. Hottest months. ^_^
45. Fave girls perfume? Hm.. Estee Launder "Beyond Paradise."
46. Fave blokes cologne? ..Aquavera?
47. Do you like to breakdance? er, no.
48. Fast or slow? Fast! ^_^! Fast cars, pushing myself to be fast, and.. Well, hehe.
49. If you could change your name what would it be? Hm.. Maybe Savanna? Or Arianna!
50. Have you ever had any operations? Not yet.
51. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No... ;.; They fall off the bed!
52. Have you ever been in love? Don't think so.
53. What is the stupidest thing that you have ever done? Starting school.
54. What will your first daughter's name be? No damn kids!
55. First son? ..No damn kids!
56. Favourite drink? Mountain Dew! or lemonade.
57. Do you like scary or happy movies better? Scary.
58. On the phone or in person? Depends on the situation.
59. Night or day? Night
60. Summer or Winter days? Summer
61. Lust or love? Love
62. Kisses or hugs? Depends.
63. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Taller.. More confident.. Better artist.. better looking, for that matter. And no bad teeth!
64. Who do you like right now? No one really.
65. If you could wish for one thing, what would it be? Dunno.
66. What is your fave number? 13.
67. If you were an animal, what would you be? Easy. Cougar.
68. How do you describe your attitude? Assertive, but very laid back and relaxed. Though quite literally the Goddess of Death when angered.
69. What do you think of this survey? ::shrug.:: One survey is much like another.
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