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A Sad Metamorphosis
Cheat codes for growing up. +1 to Maturity! |
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So. It seems to me that I only post here when I have stuff to say or get off my chest and out of my mind. This post is not really different. I feel like talking, but have nothing interesting to say to Shaun (and sometimes I dont feel like hes listening anyway) and no one is online.
So Im sitting at home on a friday night, doing homework that could wait til tomorrow. Why am I not out raising hell with my friends? Cause they dont do that, and they arn't really around anyway. My boyfriend is out drinking and having a good time. Why am I not there? Cause Im not 21. And I probably wouldnt have been invited anyway. Its a club sorta thing. But I could also just be a pessimist. Why do I care? Cause I don't have fun anymore. Its such a treat just to go out to dinner with someone, much less party and really just have fun and relax. I want to go out, to do something besides sit at home in what little free time I get. I could spare a night every few weeks to do something. But I dont have anything to do. This frusterates me. Exspecially when I see Shaun going to New York and drinking like a fish and having a fucking blast, and going out with friends for drinks on occasion. I guess I'm envious. I think that would be the release I need. Or maybe I just need to get fucking drunk. Tanked. Wasted. Shitfaced. Its been about a year since that last happened. I'm not a drunk, but that doesnt mean I dont enjoy it.
I need more fun people in my life. Or more hobbies. That would work too.